Twenty Things I Have Been Learning Along the Way:

The most important thing in life is knowing God Himself. Even if we gain the whole

world, nothing will profit us if we lose our soul. The only way we may know God is

through faith in Christ, renewal by the Holy Spirit, and reading the Word of God.








Seeking satisfaction with God is better than seeking satisfaction through the world.

Actually the hungrier I get for God, the more satisfied I become! And yet, the more that

I've realized that God is enough for me and am satisfied in Him, the more I am discontent

to only have what I have now of Him. All of my life I want to constantly hunger for Christ

and to become more satisfied in Him.






Without personal application, understanding the meaning of Scripture is worthless.

This is true of all knowledge. In my own personal study of Scripture, I often made

understanding the meaning of it my goal instead of understanding what implications it had

for my life. God showed me my sinful pride and the vanity of this pursuit. By God's grace,

I've learned that the goal of Bible study should never be simply to understand, but also

how to apply the knowledge in my daily life.



Correct doctrine is important, but having correct doctrine without humility and love is worthless. Spiritual knowledge doesn't equal spiritual maturity. Spiritual maturity is walking by the Spirit, and in love. Love is the fulfillment of the law. It is so much more important to be an expert at keeping the law of love than an expert at understanding spiritual concepts. “If I ...know all the mysteries and all knowledge...but do not have love I am nothing.” 1 Cor. 13:2

Memorizing Scripture is very important. Memorizing Scripture is important because it is our weapon against sin. David said, “I have hidden your Word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11When Jesus was tempted, He fought with Scripture and said, “it is written...”Memorizing Scripture is important because we can meditate on it when we have it memorized. It is very useful for taking our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. (1 Cor.10:5)Memorized Scripture is also a source of comfort when I'm afraid or upset. Memorizing scripture is important because we will always have it with us. I've found it very helpful when I'm witnessing, when I have to make a quick decision, when I am without my Bible, and even when I'm trying to understand other passages of Scripture. I get many of my ideas for my writing from the Scriptures that are in my heart. There are so many benefits to always having it with you.





True greatness isn't accomplished by skill, rank, or power but by being a servant and

by humbling ourselves. “Whoever would be great among you must be your servant.”

Matt. 20:26 Jesus Himself said, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to

serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” The truly great man follows Jesus's

example and washes the feet of others.



The most important priority is one's relationship with God, not one's ministry to

others. Ministry shouldn't be our focus. It is easy to become people-focused, but as soon

as this happens, we are only doing humanitarian work. We should be God-focused and our

ministry should flow from that.






We must fight sin every day, because we are in a battle. If we let our guard down, and

if we aren't intentional and persistent with fighting sin, we will lose important battles. (See

Eph. 6:10-18)

“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around

like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him firm in your faith...” 1 Peter

5:8-9a.








It is important to set aside personal prayer time and Scripture reading. Scripture

says, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth

of God.” It is so important to read all of Scripture. While everything we read in the Bible

will benefit us, it is important to make sure we are reading all of Scripture and not missing

anything. I've learned that it is helpful to periodically read straight through Scripture, and

then take time to study individual books. It is by reading all of Scripture that we

understand any of Scripture. Some passages are difficult to understand without the rest of

Scripture. I've found that I pray more throughout the day if I have already spent time in

secret prayer. Jesus frequently went off by Himself to pray. We have a great need to be in

prayer. Jesus was a man of prayer, and Christians should be too. Often, I feel like I wish I

knew better words to say when I pray, but God is pleased with our prayers when they are

spoken with an attitude of childlike humility and a submissive heart that says, “Not my

will, but yours be done.”An excellent book on prayer is, “A Simple Way to Pray” by 

Archie Parrish. It's a tiny book with big print, and inside is Martin Luther's letter to his

barber who wanted to know how to pray. I would highly recommend this book!






It's important to be faithful in little things. The little things are the hardest. We all want

to do great things that make us feel important, but doing the small things well is one of the

most important challenges we'll ever have. I've learned God prepares us for great things in

small ways. When we are faithful with little, He entrusts us with much. Nothing done out

of worship for God is insignificant. The best way to do great things is to yield yourself to

the potter and be faithful where you are. He has to shape you before you are ready for use,

and the greatest thing you can ever do is fulfill God's plan for your life no matter how

many little things it takes. After all, God's will for us is that we be conformed to the image

of His Son (Rom. 8:29).






We must guard against distractions. One of Satan's oldest tactics is distraction. It's easy

to become distracted, but our focus must be on Christ. Even good things can become a

distraction. In fact, Satan loves to make us busy with good things as long as we are

distracted from Christ. The solution to this problem is not to rid ourselves of all our

distractions but to learn how God would have us think and act in regards to whatever is

distracting us. We must learn to exercise self-control and to glorify God in each area of

life. And we must “be of sober Spirit” and “be on the alert” (1Peter 5: )






It's important to honor authority. We may not always agree with the authority figures in

our life, but we must submit to them as to Christ because God put them in our lives and

commands us to obey them. Our hearts are selfish and we want to do things our own way.

From the time we were toddlers, we said, “I can do it all by myself!” God is gracious and

He places authorities in our lives to teach us to submit. Submission is a hard lesson to

learn. Ultimately, we must learn to submit to the Holy Spirit. It is through submission to

the Holy Spirit that we are able to submit to the other authorities in our lives. This is a

lesson I'll always be learning. Christ will always be teaching me to say, “Not my will, but

yours be done.” He obeyed His father perfectly and even submitted himself to men!

Christ's submission amazes me! It is paramount as a Christian to learn to submit our will

to our Father's will. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but it's end is the way to

death.”Proverbs 14:12








God can be trusted. He is always faithful to His promises and His Word. He never

changes! Over and over again He has proved this in my personal life and in His Word!








God provides. When I have a need I take it to Christ and He always provides what I need.

It isn't always what I want, but He is faithful to give me all that He knows I need. I'm

learning to Pray (instead of worry) when I have a need. 








Relationships are the most important investment I can make on earth. I've learned

that relationships should always take priority over my plans and goals. It is so easy to

forget this when I have a long list of things I want to do. God is gracious to keep

reminding me of this. The longer I live, the more I understand this truth. Sometimes I

have to chose between finishing my list and loving the people I'm with. I'd rather invest in

people than my plans. 








Handling conflict in a Christlike way is better than avoiding it, responding in our

flesh, or trying to ignore it. Because relationships are valuable, it is worth taking time

to study how to handle conflict. Scripture gives us all that we need to know in order to

do this. One of the things I've learned is that when I am upset at someone else, I need to

spend time in prayer examining why I am upset. Sometimes I am upset because of selfish

reasons and not because the other person has sinned. Sometimes the other person has

sinned, but I can overlook it whenever I remember all that God has forgiven me. If I

cannot overlook it and I'm still offended, I try take time examining my own part in the

conflict. I ask God to show me how the other person is feeling and any sins that I need to

repent of. Then I ask God to help me to be humble and truly listen, and I go seek

restoration. First, I ask for forgiveness if I have sinned. (It's important not to make excuses

when asking for forgiveness. Like Adam and Eve we often have the desire to make

excuses, but God doesn't accept them, and we aren't truly repenting if we are still making

excuses.) After, this I tell the other person as graciously as possible how they have

offended me and what I would prefer them to do in the future. Then it's time to listen and

ask questions to try to understand the other person because they are usually frustrated too.

The goal when talking about conflict cannot be to prove ourselves innocent or to retaliate.

It must be done in a loving way and we must be ready to forgive. We must seek

restoration when we have conflicts and not leave them unresolved. I am still learning to do

this. God's grace and Word is sufficient to guide and help us in every conflict we will ever

face. Handling conflict is definitely one of the most important skills I've learned. An

excellent book with Biblical principals for handling conflict is, “If you Bite and Devour”

by Alexander Strauch. He explains in depth that when we are faced with conflict,

Christians must act in the spirit with love and humility; control their tongue, anger, and
criticism; and pursue reconciliation and peace. There are hundreds of helpful scriptures in
this book!



It truly is more blessed to give than to receive!






It's important to be teachable and to seek counsel. I've learned the hard way that pride

is destructive, and that I won't learn what God wants me to learn, unless I am humble and

I listen to others. Instead of resisting instruction, I should actually seek it! Wisdom is

precious and should be sought above riches. It can only be gained through humility.






Momentary pleasure is a destructive and subtle idol. I've learned this from experience.

Living for pleasure and seeking to live a comfortable life is dangerous. If that is our

ultimate goal, we won't be willing to obey God. He said, “If anyone would come after me,

let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Matt. 16:24 Following Christ

isn't comfortable. It's downright hard and will cost you everything, but true joy is found in

following Christ. We can easily be tricked, as Adam and Eve were, to trade eternal joys

for momentary pleasures. Worldly pleasure is counterfeit. Scripture teaches, “In [God's]

presence there is fullness of joy; at [His] right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm

16:11. This is a very important thing to learn, and one of the most important things God

has been teaching me. Satan still entices people with momentary pleasures, but we can

resist him through Christ's strength and he will flee from us.






It is important to be thankful and enjoy God's gifts. I'm learning to say, “This is the

day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it.” Sometimes I forget to give God

the praise He is due for all the ways He has graciously blessed me. I don't want to be like

the lepers who were healed but forgot to come back and thank Jesus. I want to remember

to praise Him. Scripture commands us to do this, and I'm learning to bless the Lord at all

times and ascribe to Him the glory He's due. Psalm 34:1 Psalm 96:8






Salvation is by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone, for God's glory

alone, and 

Scripture alone is to be our authority. These are known as the five solas of

Scripture and are central doctrines in my faith. These are the very heartbeat of the Bible

and Christianity.






Christ is returning and it's important to be ready! Scripture teaches He will come like

a thief in the night. We should seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.

Because He's coming back, it is important to be saved and to be faithfully living for

Christ!


In Christ,
Dallas

Forgiving As We Have Been Forgiven

A Testimony of Forgiveness

Gianna Jessen, the abortion survivor I mentioned in my last post, said of her biological mother, " Her sin almost killed me, but my sin did kill Jesus, and I've been forgiven on the cross, so I can forgive her also." I think we can learn a lot from her example. I have found this to be true as well. If I focus on what I have been forgiven, it is easy to forgive others. Their offenses seem strangely small when I consider how many offenses that Christ covered for me!

The Command to Forgive

Collosians 3:13 "bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you." We should forgive JUST  AS the Lord has forgiven us. He forgave us freely, sacrificially, and without reproach.

Why We Should Forgive

Matthew 18:21-35 "Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”Jesus *said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’  But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. Then summoning him, his lord *said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart." 

Why Christians Should be The Most Forgiving People

This passage really speaks for itself! How do you think God feels when we will not forgive a smaller debt than we have been forgiven? We are commanded to forgive one another! Scripture also warns us that if we do not forgive others, our Heavenly Father will not forgive us. Christians should just be waiting around every corner, on top of every hill, and in every nation to forgive others. We should be willing to forgive and even glad to do it. We have been forgiven everything so would should be able to  forgive anything! (Originally posted on 2/2/13)

Judicial Abandonment and Conscience

"Labour to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience."- President George Washington

What is Conscience

Many of us think of our conscience as the little angel that stands on our shoulder and urges us to do the right thing, while a demon stands on the other and tries to convince us to sin; however, our conscience is something God has given us.There are laws that are written on men's hearts universally, and we know they are wrong to violate. Many have suppressed these truths and tried to ignore them so long that God gives them over to a depraved mind, degrading passions, and to the lust of their hearts. (Rom 1:18-28)

Given Over

In R. C. Spoul's Commentary on Romans, he says of verses 22-25 in chapter 1, "Three times in this passage we read about human beings being given up by God. They are given up to their vile passions, tho lust of the flesh, and their reprobate minds. When God judges people according to the standard of His righteousness, He is declaring that He will not  strive with mankind forever. We hear all the time about God's infinite grace and mercy. I cringe when I hear it. God's mercy is infinite insofar as it is mercy bestowed on us by a Being who is infinite, but when the term infinite is used to describe His mercy rather than His person, I have a problem with it because the Bible makes very clear that there is a limit to God's mercy. There is a limit to His grace, and He is determined not to pour out his mercy on impenitent people forever. There is a time, as the Old Testament repeatedly reports, particularly in the book of the prophet Jeremiah, that God stops being gracious with people, and he gives them over to  their sin. The worst thing that can happen to sinners is to be allowed to go on sinning without any restraint." Sproul is not talking about the grace of God unto salvation, but God's common grace. We cannot loose our salvation; however, God gives people another grace called conscience. He placed this restraint upon us lovingly to spare us the consequences of committing these acts, but when we suppress the truth and will not acknowledge God, He finally removes all restraints.

Judicial Abandonment

Sproul continues,"At the end of the New Testament, in the book of revelation when the description of the last judgement is set forth, God says, 'He who is unjust, let him be unjust still; he who is filthy, let him be filthy still' (Rev 22:11). God gives people over to what they want. He abandons them to their sinful impulses and removes his  restraints, saying in essence,'If you want to sin, go ahead and sin.' this is what theologians call 'judicial abandonment.' God in his His just judgement abandons the impenitent sinner forever."

Unrestrained

Our conscience can be squelched. I believe this is why George Washington warned us not to go against it. It is a terrible thing to be left to do whatever you please without any restraint! Consider a lion for example. You probably would not go see one at the zoo if it where unrestrained. Why? Because lions by nature are carnivores, and you are considered fair game in their sight! When humans are unrestrained, we do what we do by nature too, namely, sin! Ephesians chapter two says that we are by nature children of wrath! The world would be a nightmare if God put no restraint upon people!

Without Excuse

Not only does your conscience know right from wrong, it also knows there is a God. All men know that God exists. Romans 1:19-21 says," because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened." You will be without excuse on judgement day if you do not honor Him as God, because God "has made it evident to you" that He is God. Atheism is not the belief that there is no god, it is the suppression of the knowledge that there is.

Not Without Hope

We are all guilty of sin and are in desperate need of a savior because the wages of our sin is death. God's wrath against sin must be satisfied. God would not be good if He did not punish sin. We deserve hell, and that is where we will all go unless we believe in Christ and repent. The price for sin had to be paid, so Christ paid that price for us on the cross. He bore all of God's wrath in our place! Jesus says,  "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through me."(John 14:6) There is no other way to heaven! Trust in Christ for your righteousness! Ask him to forgive you today! You could die at any moment and be thrust into eternity. If you do this God will give you a new heart with desires to obey Him and eternal life. You will have to face God's righteous judgement! Only Christ' blood can pardon your sin! Call out to Him, and He will save you! (Originally posted on 2/6/13)

Unthinkable Forgiveness

The Unexpected Reunion

There she was. I could not believe my eyes! I had never thought I'd see her again, but she was standing in front of me! I was shocked and lost myself in the mixed emotions I felt from my past. It had been nine years, but I still remembered so many things. This woman had hurt me and many other students in my class. I had struggled with scars from this woman my whole life, and now I was staring into her eyes. Did she know the grief she had caused me? Did she know how much I had struggled? Had she changed? Did she even remember me? One million thoughts were running through my mind.  As I stood face to face with her, I stood face to face with all the past pain, memories, and struggles she had caused me. I looked into her face with sorrow, but not bitterness. I looked into her face with a smile and forgiveness. I looked into her face with a deep longing for her to know the one who had offered me unthinkable forgiveness and who enabled me to forgive her when the thought of forgiveness seemed unthinkable to me.

The Unexpected Blessing

I was too young to know how to handle her abuse and thought I must deserve it. When my parents found out what was going on, they removed me from the school. I remember to this day what my mom told me. She told me,"This can make you bitter, or this can make you better. This experience can help you or it can hurt you." She encouraged me to forgive her and to have compassion for her. She also encouraged me to let the experience shape me into a more compassionate person. 

I do not regret having the experience that I had in first grade. If I had never been hated, I would not understand true love. True love enables you to love your enemies and to pray for those who mistreat you. I would not be able to sympathize with others in the same way that I can now if I had not had those experiences. I know how it feels to be hated, and I am determined to love others with Christ' love. God has used what man intended for bad in my life to work together for my good. He has turned my pain into progress and my grief to gratefulness. 

The Unthinkable Forgiveness

Forgiveness seemed unthinkable to me until I thought about something. I had sinned against the God of the universe and violated His holy laws. My just penalty was to receive God's wrath, but He did the unthinkable! The creator of all things humbled himself and became like the creature! Jesus Christ, the one and only son of God, bore God's wrath in my place on the cross to pay the penalty for my sin! Philippians 2:5-8 says ^"Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." This forgiveness is incomprehensible and incredible!

The Unthinkable Empowerment
Because I have been forgiven everything, I can forgive anything! In Matthew 18:21-35 we read, ^"Then Peter came and said to Him, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?' Jesus *said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

 ^'For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.  When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.  But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and beganto choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.  So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. Then summoning him, his lord *said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”

The Unthinkable Offer

Have you been forgiven for your sins against God? The Bible says all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. The Bible also says the wages of sin is death. We are all going to be judged by God and we will either get our just wage of death, or we will receive His mercy if we have been forgiven through his blood. Call out to Him, and He will save You! God offers you unthinkable forgiveness! If you trust Christ, God will grant you eternal life and give you a new heart. He will give you the power to forgive the unthinkable!

Relationship Recipe

Many Types

Everyone has relationships, and there are many different types of relationships. There is our relationship between God and us, us and our family, us and our friends, us and strangers, us and our enemies, us and our authorities, us and those under our authority, and for some there is the relationship between them and their spouse. We all have relationships in some form or another.

What Kind?

 The question is not "What type of relationships do you have?" but "What kind of relationships are they?" Are they godly or ungodly? Are they healthy, or are they weak, neglected, and ignored?No one desires to have bad relationships, so what are the necessary ingredients for a healthy and godly relationship?

The Recipe:

1. In order to have healthy relationships with others, we must first have a right relationship with God. Our sin has separated us from God and ruined our relationship. In the beginning of time, man walked and talked with God. His sin separated him from God though, and In order to have a right standing with God, restitution had to be made. Christ paid the penalty for our sins on the cross in order to bring us back into a right relationship with God. 1 Peter 3:18 says, "For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit;". We can not have a right relationships with others until we have been made right with God and are given new hearts.
2. Love is a vital ingredient for godly relationships as well. I am not talking about a fuzzy feeling. I am talking about the kind of love the Bible describes in first Corinthians chapter thirteen. Some people are easier to love than others, but Christ loved us while we where still sinners. Christ loved us when we where His enemies and when we hated Him. We must love even our enemies and especially those who hate us, for in so doing we become like Christ.
3. ^{Humility is essential to a healthy relationship. Pride will separate you from others. Pride is the root of all sins. Pride exalts the self and seeks its own interest. Pride is a sin! Philippians 2:3-8 says, "}Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;  do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becomingobedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. " Christ should be our example of how to conduct ourselves in any relationship! We must follow his example and be humble.Click Here for more on humility.
4. Forgiveness plays a very important role in any human relationship. If you do not forgive others, your relationships with them will be bitter and stagnant. You must forgive as God has forgiven you! God has commanded us to forgive. It is not an option!( See post entitled Forgiving as We've Been Forgiven for more on forgiveness.)
5. We will sin against others sometimes, and in order for that relationship to heal, you must repent and ask for their forgiveness too. Acknowledge your sin before the person you have offended and ask for their forgiveness and ask for God's. In the same way that you must forgive so that you do not become embittered, you must ask forgiveness so that the person in your relationship does not become embittered against you.
6. Serving is a great way to strengthen your relationships. When you serve some one, you are investing your time and energy into their life and into your relationship. Galatians 5:13b says "through love serve one another."
7. Another way to strengthen your relationships is to exhort. Look for ways to build the person up. Exhorting does not just include praising someone for doing what's right, but also encouraging them in areas where they may be discouraged or where they lack. You are exhorting someone whenever you are building them up with your words. Our words can destroy others and ruin our relationships, so making shore that our words are edifying is very important. Hebrews 3:13"But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." Also, Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear" Our words are very important! 
8. If you want to have a good relationship with others, you must be a good listener. James 1:19 says,"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;" Listening to others communicates that you value that person's thoughts, feelings, and Ideas. I struggle with this, and I am trying to become a better listener. Often I want to be heard and I forget to listen! It all boils down to my own selfishness!
9. You must also keep confidential the things that others confide to you and not spread gossip. Proverbs 16:28 says"A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends." What an awful thing to separate close friends!
10. Not only must we exhort with our words and not gossip, but we must not slander with our words! Slandering is simply speaking badly of others. Even if what you are saying is true, it is wrong to slander. Slandering will cause relationships to ruin. Titus 3:1-2 Says "Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one (Emphasis added), to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men."
11. Praying for your relationships will also strengthen them. You can pray that God will help you to love, be humble, forgive, to be repentant, to serve, to exhort, to listen, to not gossip, and that He will help you not to slander. Pray that God will show you ways to strengthen your relationships. If the person is lost pray for their salvation, and pray for an opportunity to share the gospel. If the person has Authority over you, pray God will give them wisdom as they make decisions and that He will help you honor them. There are so many things that you can pray for in your relationships! Prayer always makes relationships better! Prayer is vital to godly relationships
    .

Examination

The things that matter most on this earth are our relationships. We must be looking at our relationships and actively seek ways to make them better. One of my goals is to build others up. That is one purpose for this blog. Be honest with yourself and ask, " Am I building others up in my relationships and helping them become more like Christ, or am I tearing them down with my actions and words? Am I showing my enemies the love of Christ, or do I avoid or mistreat them? Have I forgiven others, or am I full of bitterness? Do I gossip or slander? Am I listening to others well? Am I serving others or only looking out for my own interests? Am I repenting and asking for forgiveness when I sin?"Truly examine these eras. I can not say that I do any of these things as well as I'd like to, but by God's grace I'm making progress. Examine each area in your  life and ask God to help you with the ones that you struggle with. Maybe you need to repent and ask forgiveness from somebody. Maybe your relationship with God is is not right. Maybe you need to ask for His forgiveness. Godly relationships do not form by themselves. They take work, But the rewards are worth it! These are just a few ways that you can strengthen your relationships, but they certainly aren't the only ways. Search the scriptures for how you should conduct yourself in your relationships. May God bless and strengthen your relationships!