Missing the Point

When we read Scripture

If Christ doesn't become more beautiful,

If we do not see more of God's heart,

If the depth of the sin in our heart is not exposed,

If our souls aren't stirred to praise God,

If we seek merely to understand the meaning of Scripture apart from it's application,

If it doesn't drive us to prayer,

If we do not love God more,

If our love is not stirred for our neighbors, 

If our heart is lifted up in pride and we make a mental list of all the ways we are obeying,

If we focus on a list of to do's, and our goal is changed behavior rather than adoring and worshipping Christ,

If we study looking first for lessons to teach others seeing ourselves primarily as the one that needs to deliver God's word to people rather than one who needs to receive God's word,

If we are hearers and not doers,

If we seek knowledge over intimacy with God,

If we hide it in our heads and not our hearts for any purpose other than so that we might not sin against Him,

If we search Scripture to support our theological positions, 

If we half heartedly skim,

If we twist it to justify our sins,

If we look merely for "answers" rather than for questions to ask ourselves,

If we are fascinated with deep mysteries but don't look in the mirror,

If our Sword stays in the sheath when Satan attacks,

If we use the Bible like a harlot just to get what we want,

If our main focus is meeting our own emotional needs, 

If we search the Scriptures because we think that in them we have life,

If we do not imitate what we learn of Christ, 

If our feet do not follow the path to calvary, and we do not take up our cross and follow Him,

If Christ isn't what we seek when we read Scripture,

Our Bibles would benefit us more if we never opened them because when we read them in this way We get further from Christ and look to ourselves,

We condemn ourselves,

We claim to be wise but become fools,

We dishonor the Name of God before men,

We build false confidence that the act of reading the Word will transform our sinful desires without any effort on our part. The more we trust in our action of reading, the more we see our reading of Scriptrure as meritorious. The more we see our action as meritorious, the more we worship the idol of study. The more we worship the idol of study, the more we are blinded to the fact that we are actually not studying God; we are just working. 

We are working like a Pharisee who knows the Word in and out but who completely misses that Jesus is in our very presence. We are actually mad that He takes away our glory from our good work and we seek to rid ourselves of Him. Oh, what a tragedy to read the word of God and miss Christ! 

What a subtle lie that Satan would have us to believe! In fact, satan is twisting the very Book that should renew our minds to blind them. He is calling idolatry worship of the true God. He is making men twice a son of hell. Satan is not opposed to men reading the Bible and never has been. He even used Scripture when tempting Jesus. Satan's goal is not to destroy Scripture but to twist Scripture to become an instrument of destruction to men.

Our hope is not in the Bible, it is spoken of in the Bible. Our hope is in Christ! Salvation is by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone, for God's glory alone, and Scripture alone is our authority. Scripture is not our righteousness. The blood of Jesus, and the blood of Jesus alone can make atonement for our sin. May we cling to the grace of God and put no confidence in the flesh or our abilities to study the Bible. 

However, this message is not just to the lost pharisee. It is to the saved pharisee. What do I mean? Christians can miss the point when they study Scripture. They too can look to complete in the flesh what was begun by the Spirit ( Galatians 3:3). The Christian must cling to the Christ not only for justification but also sanctification. They must abide in the branch in order to produce the fruit of the Spirit (hence the name "the fruit of the Spirit" not "the fruit of study").

What can Christians do about this serious but subtle danger? First, they must pray that God would give them true understanding and true fear of Him. Second, they must continue in prayer as they read. Third, they must worship God truly in love (not in order to merit God's forgiveness). True worship is love to God which works obedience. 

"You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; it is these that testify about Me;" John 5:39

I say this from experience: If you miss Jesus, you've missed the point. For too long, I missed the point, but God has been gracious and shown me that HE is the glorious point! Seek Him! Don't trade him for a counterfeit hope of righteousness. Don't get lost in trying to understand all the mysteries in Scripture, just get lost trying to understand the mystery of union with Christ and obey what you do understand. Christ is the true treasure, and the purpose for studying Scripture is so that we might Him! 

"More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ," Philippians 3:8

Scopus Vitae Christus, 

Dallas

Worthy of Love

Do you know the feeling of fear that someone you want to be loved by will not love you if they knew who you really are? Are you afraid that someone will find out something only you know about yourself? There was another woman who felt this way. She'd been with many men, but she was still trying to be loved. She had had seven husbands, and was with a new man. She found herself face to face with Jesus. She tried to put herself forward as a good woman, but Jesus knew who she was. He did something amazing though. Instead of rejecting her, He told her that He knew who she was, and He still showed her love.

 Perhaps when you find yourself looking at Jesus, you feel that you need to make yourself worthy before He will love you.  Maybe you have tried to do all the right things and hope that God will love you because you have tried so hard. Perhaps you've spent your whole life in sin and know you are not worthy, and you have given up hope. Maybe people in your life have not accepted you and you think God cannot accept you either. If you have spent your whole life working hard to try to be loved, if you have tried to be worthy, there is something I want to tell you. You will never be worthy.

Friend, I have good news though. God has never loved a person worthy of His love. He choses to love the unworthy. God knows who you really are. He chose to love sinners knowing they were sinners. He made a way to salvation for all of us unworthy sinners through His Son's death in our place and resurrection. When Jesus died on the cross, He did it because He chose to love us not because anyone was worthy. It was not about who we are. It was about who He is. He is gracious and that is what He did because of who He is not because of who we are. The best thing to do when you realize you are unworthy is to run to Christ instead of trying to be worthy without Him. Our pride would have us try to be worthy so that we would have grounds to boast. However, you cannot come to Christ with something to offer. It is impossible. All we can come to Him with is repentance.When we embrace God's mercy as unworthy sinners and let go of our pride and attempts to be worthy on our own, we will be welcomed by God and loved. Then, obedience to Him is our joy and freedom. It becomes an expression of love for Him instead of a desperate attempt to be good enough.


Do you obey God to be worthy of His love, or do you obey God out of love because He's worthy? Have you humbly come to Christ as an unworthy sinner, and are you resting in the Savior's love, or are you desprately trying to earn love and have some type of ground for boasting? Perhaps your religious acts have been your attempt to be worthy. Perhaps you have never come to God as a sinner, but you have always tried to put your self forward as a good person like the woman at the well did. That is a weary task. Come to Jesus broken and sinful, and ask for mercy, and He will give you rest. God will not accept you just the way you are. He will accept you only on the account of His Son's death. Ask God to forgive you. He is willing and able to give you mercy because Christ died and rose again for our sins.

" And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt:  “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.  The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’  But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be [f]merciful to me, the sinner!’ I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 18:9-14

This is a poem I wrote about being unworthy and loved.

-Unworthy Loved-
He knew who I would be
but still created me.
He knows all I have done,
Yet He sent His Son.
Knowing every part of me,
He chose to give mercy.

Come and see a man who told me everything I ever did.
Who knew every sin of mine and not a fault was hid.
I tried to make myself seem worthy.
He knew I wasn't but still loved me.

Come and live, you, who deserve to die.
Come and receive you who cannot buy. 
Come and drink the waters of life.
Come unworthy and be loved by God.

Blessings,
Dallas 

Twenty Things I Have Been Learning Along the Way:

The most important thing in life is knowing God Himself. Even if we gain the whole

world, nothing will profit us if we lose our soul. The only way we may know God is

through faith in Christ, renewal by the Holy Spirit, and reading the Word of God.








Seeking satisfaction with God is better than seeking satisfaction through the world.

Actually the hungrier I get for God, the more satisfied I become! And yet, the more that

I've realized that God is enough for me and am satisfied in Him, the more I am discontent

to only have what I have now of Him. All of my life I want to constantly hunger for Christ

and to become more satisfied in Him.






Without personal application, understanding the meaning of Scripture is worthless.

This is true of all knowledge. In my own personal study of Scripture, I often made

understanding the meaning of it my goal instead of understanding what implications it had

for my life. God showed me my sinful pride and the vanity of this pursuit. By God's grace,

I've learned that the goal of Bible study should never be simply to understand, but also

how to apply the knowledge in my daily life.



Correct doctrine is important, but having correct doctrine without humility and love is worthless. Spiritual knowledge doesn't equal spiritual maturity. Spiritual maturity is walking by the Spirit, and in love. Love is the fulfillment of the law. It is so much more important to be an expert at keeping the law of love than an expert at understanding spiritual concepts. “If I ...know all the mysteries and all knowledge...but do not have love I am nothing.” 1 Cor. 13:2

Memorizing Scripture is very important. Memorizing Scripture is important because it is our weapon against sin. David said, “I have hidden your Word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11When Jesus was tempted, He fought with Scripture and said, “it is written...”Memorizing Scripture is important because we can meditate on it when we have it memorized. It is very useful for taking our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. (1 Cor.10:5)Memorized Scripture is also a source of comfort when I'm afraid or upset. Memorizing scripture is important because we will always have it with us. I've found it very helpful when I'm witnessing, when I have to make a quick decision, when I am without my Bible, and even when I'm trying to understand other passages of Scripture. I get many of my ideas for my writing from the Scriptures that are in my heart. There are so many benefits to always having it with you.





True greatness isn't accomplished by skill, rank, or power but by being a servant and

by humbling ourselves. “Whoever would be great among you must be your servant.”

Matt. 20:26 Jesus Himself said, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to

serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” The truly great man follows Jesus's

example and washes the feet of others.



The most important priority is one's relationship with God, not one's ministry to

others. Ministry shouldn't be our focus. It is easy to become people-focused, but as soon

as this happens, we are only doing humanitarian work. We should be God-focused and our

ministry should flow from that.






We must fight sin every day, because we are in a battle. If we let our guard down, and

if we aren't intentional and persistent with fighting sin, we will lose important battles. (See

Eph. 6:10-18)

“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around

like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him firm in your faith...” 1 Peter

5:8-9a.








It is important to set aside personal prayer time and Scripture reading. Scripture

says, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth

of God.” It is so important to read all of Scripture. While everything we read in the Bible

will benefit us, it is important to make sure we are reading all of Scripture and not missing

anything. I've learned that it is helpful to periodically read straight through Scripture, and

then take time to study individual books. It is by reading all of Scripture that we

understand any of Scripture. Some passages are difficult to understand without the rest of

Scripture. I've found that I pray more throughout the day if I have already spent time in

secret prayer. Jesus frequently went off by Himself to pray. We have a great need to be in

prayer. Jesus was a man of prayer, and Christians should be too. Often, I feel like I wish I

knew better words to say when I pray, but God is pleased with our prayers when they are

spoken with an attitude of childlike humility and a submissive heart that says, “Not my

will, but yours be done.”An excellent book on prayer is, “A Simple Way to Pray” by 

Archie Parrish. It's a tiny book with big print, and inside is Martin Luther's letter to his

barber who wanted to know how to pray. I would highly recommend this book!






It's important to be faithful in little things. The little things are the hardest. We all want

to do great things that make us feel important, but doing the small things well is one of the

most important challenges we'll ever have. I've learned God prepares us for great things in

small ways. When we are faithful with little, He entrusts us with much. Nothing done out

of worship for God is insignificant. The best way to do great things is to yield yourself to

the potter and be faithful where you are. He has to shape you before you are ready for use,

and the greatest thing you can ever do is fulfill God's plan for your life no matter how

many little things it takes. After all, God's will for us is that we be conformed to the image

of His Son (Rom. 8:29).






We must guard against distractions. One of Satan's oldest tactics is distraction. It's easy

to become distracted, but our focus must be on Christ. Even good things can become a

distraction. In fact, Satan loves to make us busy with good things as long as we are

distracted from Christ. The solution to this problem is not to rid ourselves of all our

distractions but to learn how God would have us think and act in regards to whatever is

distracting us. We must learn to exercise self-control and to glorify God in each area of

life. And we must “be of sober Spirit” and “be on the alert” (1Peter 5: )






It's important to honor authority. We may not always agree with the authority figures in

our life, but we must submit to them as to Christ because God put them in our lives and

commands us to obey them. Our hearts are selfish and we want to do things our own way.

From the time we were toddlers, we said, “I can do it all by myself!” God is gracious and

He places authorities in our lives to teach us to submit. Submission is a hard lesson to

learn. Ultimately, we must learn to submit to the Holy Spirit. It is through submission to

the Holy Spirit that we are able to submit to the other authorities in our lives. This is a

lesson I'll always be learning. Christ will always be teaching me to say, “Not my will, but

yours be done.” He obeyed His father perfectly and even submitted himself to men!

Christ's submission amazes me! It is paramount as a Christian to learn to submit our will

to our Father's will. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but it's end is the way to

death.”Proverbs 14:12








God can be trusted. He is always faithful to His promises and His Word. He never

changes! Over and over again He has proved this in my personal life and in His Word!








God provides. When I have a need I take it to Christ and He always provides what I need.

It isn't always what I want, but He is faithful to give me all that He knows I need. I'm

learning to Pray (instead of worry) when I have a need. 








Relationships are the most important investment I can make on earth. I've learned

that relationships should always take priority over my plans and goals. It is so easy to

forget this when I have a long list of things I want to do. God is gracious to keep

reminding me of this. The longer I live, the more I understand this truth. Sometimes I

have to chose between finishing my list and loving the people I'm with. I'd rather invest in

people than my plans. 








Handling conflict in a Christlike way is better than avoiding it, responding in our

flesh, or trying to ignore it. Because relationships are valuable, it is worth taking time

to study how to handle conflict. Scripture gives us all that we need to know in order to

do this. One of the things I've learned is that when I am upset at someone else, I need to

spend time in prayer examining why I am upset. Sometimes I am upset because of selfish

reasons and not because the other person has sinned. Sometimes the other person has

sinned, but I can overlook it whenever I remember all that God has forgiven me. If I

cannot overlook it and I'm still offended, I try take time examining my own part in the

conflict. I ask God to show me how the other person is feeling and any sins that I need to

repent of. Then I ask God to help me to be humble and truly listen, and I go seek

restoration. First, I ask for forgiveness if I have sinned. (It's important not to make excuses

when asking for forgiveness. Like Adam and Eve we often have the desire to make

excuses, but God doesn't accept them, and we aren't truly repenting if we are still making

excuses.) After, this I tell the other person as graciously as possible how they have

offended me and what I would prefer them to do in the future. Then it's time to listen and

ask questions to try to understand the other person because they are usually frustrated too.

The goal when talking about conflict cannot be to prove ourselves innocent or to retaliate.

It must be done in a loving way and we must be ready to forgive. We must seek

restoration when we have conflicts and not leave them unresolved. I am still learning to do

this. God's grace and Word is sufficient to guide and help us in every conflict we will ever

face. Handling conflict is definitely one of the most important skills I've learned. An

excellent book with Biblical principals for handling conflict is, “If you Bite and Devour”

by Alexander Strauch. He explains in depth that when we are faced with conflict,

Christians must act in the spirit with love and humility; control their tongue, anger, and
criticism; and pursue reconciliation and peace. There are hundreds of helpful scriptures in
this book!



It truly is more blessed to give than to receive!






It's important to be teachable and to seek counsel. I've learned the hard way that pride

is destructive, and that I won't learn what God wants me to learn, unless I am humble and

I listen to others. Instead of resisting instruction, I should actually seek it! Wisdom is

precious and should be sought above riches. It can only be gained through humility.






Momentary pleasure is a destructive and subtle idol. I've learned this from experience.

Living for pleasure and seeking to live a comfortable life is dangerous. If that is our

ultimate goal, we won't be willing to obey God. He said, “If anyone would come after me,

let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Matt. 16:24 Following Christ

isn't comfortable. It's downright hard and will cost you everything, but true joy is found in

following Christ. We can easily be tricked, as Adam and Eve were, to trade eternal joys

for momentary pleasures. Worldly pleasure is counterfeit. Scripture teaches, “In [God's]

presence there is fullness of joy; at [His] right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm

16:11. This is a very important thing to learn, and one of the most important things God

has been teaching me. Satan still entices people with momentary pleasures, but we can

resist him through Christ's strength and he will flee from us.






It is important to be thankful and enjoy God's gifts. I'm learning to say, “This is the

day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it.” Sometimes I forget to give God

the praise He is due for all the ways He has graciously blessed me. I don't want to be like

the lepers who were healed but forgot to come back and thank Jesus. I want to remember

to praise Him. Scripture commands us to do this, and I'm learning to bless the Lord at all

times and ascribe to Him the glory He's due. Psalm 34:1 Psalm 96:8






Salvation is by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone, for God's glory

alone, and 

Scripture alone is to be our authority. These are known as the five solas of

Scripture and are central doctrines in my faith. These are the very heartbeat of the Bible

and Christianity.






Christ is returning and it's important to be ready! Scripture teaches He will come like

a thief in the night. We should seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.

Because He's coming back, it is important to be saved and to be faithfully living for

Christ!


In Christ,
Dallas

The Keys to Unity

The keys to unity are humility and love.
The key to humility and love is the cross.

"Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." Colossians 3:14

"In humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4

"Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity" Psalm 133:1

There will be conflicts in the church and in our homes that we must handle with love and humility in order to maintain unity. Unity is not agreeing about everything, it is maintaining loving, healthy relationships despite conflicts. In order to do this we must fix our eyes on Christ. Truly, He is the perfect example of love and humility.

"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." Philippians 2:5-8


May we, "[be] diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace"(Ephesians 4:3), and may God bring unity to His Church and to our homes.

What The Disabled Taught Me

Two of my sisters, my grandmother, and I were blessed to be able to serve at a camp for people with special needs called Joni and friends family camp a couple of weeks ago. I went with the intention of blessing others, but I was the one who was blessed by the experience. The lessons I learned while being there were priceless! 

Every Good Thing

One thing that I became increasingly aware of was the fact that everything we have is a gift from God!

I discovered that I had thought of my mental and physical abilities as things that were rightfully mine. I did not realize that God did not have to give me the abilities that He would be totally fair in not giving them to me. As I spent time with the blind, the crippled, and the mute I realized that the things I thought were my right were really a gift.  I did not earn them, and God had no obligation to me, but he gave me everything that I have. The only reason I can speak, see, reason, hear, walk, read, eat, breath, or do anything is because God has given me that gift. Some of the people had feeding tubes and had never eaten anything orally. I realized that even something as simple as eating an ice cream cone is a gift from God! James 1:17 says, "Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." God does not give us all the same gifts, but we are each given gifts. We must realize that they are from God and praise Him for them. I learned thankfulness.

Helpless

There were two twin brothers who were both in wheel chairs there. They had such bad seizures that they could not even be in a room with ceiling fans because the motion triggered their seizures. These two boys could do absolutely nothing for themselves and were dependant on others to everything for them. I thought, "How sad. They must feel so helpless!" It was then that I realized that all people are dependant on someone else for everything. We are all dependant on God For everything, some of us just do not know we need Him. Hebrews 1:3a says,"And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power." We are all helpless and our only hope is to call out to God for mercy.

No Room For Boasting

Over the week I was brought face to face with my ugly pride. I realized that if everything I had was a gift, then all the things my pride had stood on were crumbling. My academic achievements were only possible because God had given me a capable brain. My physical achievements were only  possible because God had given me a capable body. I can do nothing without Him! Romans 3:27a " Where then is boasting? It is excluded." I learned that there is simply no room for boasting. 

Valuable

There was one boy at camp who everybody knew and loved. His name was Judson, but everyone called him Juddy. His entire face was always absorbed in a smile. He could not do anything else, but his joy was contagious! I realized that I placed so much of my value and other's value in our abilities. I realized that I had been selfish in my relationships, seeking to gain rather than to give. True love is giving of ones self freely to benefit another. There were other children there who were moody and did not have pleasant dispositions. These children caused me to examine my own motives in serving. I had a choice to make, to love or not love. It is easy to love people with pleasant dispositions or people who are talented. The true test of our love is if we love those who have nothing to offer us back and who are not grateful. I learned that we should value people not because of what they can do or even who they are, but because they are valuable to God.

I hope to be able to serve at this camp again, and I am so thankful for the lessons God taught me! God used the disabled to enabled me to see my own disabilities and weaknesses. We are all disabled in some way or another, we all have special needs, and we all need a Savior! 

Relationship Recipe

Many Types

Everyone has relationships, and there are many different types of relationships. There is our relationship between God and us, us and our family, us and our friends, us and strangers, us and our enemies, us and our authorities, us and those under our authority, and for some there is the relationship between them and their spouse. We all have relationships in some form or another.

What Kind?

 The question is not "What type of relationships do you have?" but "What kind of relationships are they?" Are they godly or ungodly? Are they healthy, or are they weak, neglected, and ignored?No one desires to have bad relationships, so what are the necessary ingredients for a healthy and godly relationship?

The Recipe:

1. In order to have healthy relationships with others, we must first have a right relationship with God. Our sin has separated us from God and ruined our relationship. In the beginning of time, man walked and talked with God. His sin separated him from God though, and In order to have a right standing with God, restitution had to be made. Christ paid the penalty for our sins on the cross in order to bring us back into a right relationship with God. 1 Peter 3:18 says, "For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit;". We can not have a right relationships with others until we have been made right with God and are given new hearts.
2. Love is a vital ingredient for godly relationships as well. I am not talking about a fuzzy feeling. I am talking about the kind of love the Bible describes in first Corinthians chapter thirteen. Some people are easier to love than others, but Christ loved us while we where still sinners. Christ loved us when we where His enemies and when we hated Him. We must love even our enemies and especially those who hate us, for in so doing we become like Christ.
3. ^{Humility is essential to a healthy relationship. Pride will separate you from others. Pride is the root of all sins. Pride exalts the self and seeks its own interest. Pride is a sin! Philippians 2:3-8 says, "}Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;  do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becomingobedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. " Christ should be our example of how to conduct ourselves in any relationship! We must follow his example and be humble.Click Here for more on humility.
4. Forgiveness plays a very important role in any human relationship. If you do not forgive others, your relationships with them will be bitter and stagnant. You must forgive as God has forgiven you! God has commanded us to forgive. It is not an option!( See post entitled Forgiving as We've Been Forgiven for more on forgiveness.)
5. We will sin against others sometimes, and in order for that relationship to heal, you must repent and ask for their forgiveness too. Acknowledge your sin before the person you have offended and ask for their forgiveness and ask for God's. In the same way that you must forgive so that you do not become embittered, you must ask forgiveness so that the person in your relationship does not become embittered against you.
6. Serving is a great way to strengthen your relationships. When you serve some one, you are investing your time and energy into their life and into your relationship. Galatians 5:13b says "through love serve one another."
7. Another way to strengthen your relationships is to exhort. Look for ways to build the person up. Exhorting does not just include praising someone for doing what's right, but also encouraging them in areas where they may be discouraged or where they lack. You are exhorting someone whenever you are building them up with your words. Our words can destroy others and ruin our relationships, so making shore that our words are edifying is very important. Hebrews 3:13"But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." Also, Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear" Our words are very important! 
8. If you want to have a good relationship with others, you must be a good listener. James 1:19 says,"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;" Listening to others communicates that you value that person's thoughts, feelings, and Ideas. I struggle with this, and I am trying to become a better listener. Often I want to be heard and I forget to listen! It all boils down to my own selfishness!
9. You must also keep confidential the things that others confide to you and not spread gossip. Proverbs 16:28 says"A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends." What an awful thing to separate close friends!
10. Not only must we exhort with our words and not gossip, but we must not slander with our words! Slandering is simply speaking badly of others. Even if what you are saying is true, it is wrong to slander. Slandering will cause relationships to ruin. Titus 3:1-2 Says "Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one (Emphasis added), to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men."
11. Praying for your relationships will also strengthen them. You can pray that God will help you to love, be humble, forgive, to be repentant, to serve, to exhort, to listen, to not gossip, and that He will help you not to slander. Pray that God will show you ways to strengthen your relationships. If the person is lost pray for their salvation, and pray for an opportunity to share the gospel. If the person has Authority over you, pray God will give them wisdom as they make decisions and that He will help you honor them. There are so many things that you can pray for in your relationships! Prayer always makes relationships better! Prayer is vital to godly relationships
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Examination

The things that matter most on this earth are our relationships. We must be looking at our relationships and actively seek ways to make them better. One of my goals is to build others up. That is one purpose for this blog. Be honest with yourself and ask, " Am I building others up in my relationships and helping them become more like Christ, or am I tearing them down with my actions and words? Am I showing my enemies the love of Christ, or do I avoid or mistreat them? Have I forgiven others, or am I full of bitterness? Do I gossip or slander? Am I listening to others well? Am I serving others or only looking out for my own interests? Am I repenting and asking for forgiveness when I sin?"Truly examine these eras. I can not say that I do any of these things as well as I'd like to, but by God's grace I'm making progress. Examine each area in your  life and ask God to help you with the ones that you struggle with. Maybe you need to repent and ask forgiveness from somebody. Maybe your relationship with God is is not right. Maybe you need to ask for His forgiveness. Godly relationships do not form by themselves. They take work, But the rewards are worth it! These are just a few ways that you can strengthen your relationships, but they certainly aren't the only ways. Search the scriptures for how you should conduct yourself in your relationships. May God bless and strengthen your relationships!