"Yes! I love it when the sun is out. How have you been lately?"
"Good! How are you?"
"Good! Thanks!"
"That dress is so cute!"
"Thanks!"
"So, what have you been doing lately?"
"I've got this paper I've got to write for English. It's been keeping me busy!"
"Oh, I hope that goes well! Well, I've got to go. I'm going to go shopping with Anna."
"Okay. See you, girl!"
Big Small Talk
I have heard many conversations that have gone something like this one. What was accomplished through this conversation, and who was benefited? No one! There is a time and place for small talk, but so often small talk has becomes all talk. We can talk forever about things that do not matter and never get to what is important! Matthew 12:36 says, "I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak," This is a sobering verse! I have realized how small talk has become too big in my own life, and I have been trying to be more intentional about the conversations I have.
Meeting Someone New
When you meet someone new, she might feel uncomfortable if the first thing you ask is, "What do you think the meaning of life is?" It is important to connect with the person first, but I have realized that "connecting" does not require as much time as I once thought it did. When I meet someone new, I like to introduce myself and ask a few questions, but after this, I try to go deeper.
Directing Conversation
Rather than just letting my conversations go where they will, I am learning to take hold of the reigns and direct the conversation. I start by asking a simple question, "So, do you go to church anywhere around here?" The usual reply is, "Yeah, I go to such and such a church." I then say, "Oh, okay. So how do you believe people are saved?"
You would be surprised to discover how many different responses church-goers give! I have gotten many different answers since I have started asking people this question. One girl said, "I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that out." One boy said, "Keeping God's law." Another person told me that she believed that baptism saved you. Others have said, "Accepting Christ into your heart," or "Believing in God, and doing good stuff too." After hearing what they believe, I am better able to share the gospel with them because I know where they are coming from. (The word gospel means good news. See post entitled "Death" to see what the good news is!)
Getting Past Shut Doors
Sometimes people will brush off the second question because they do not know the answer or because they are ashamed. One lady said after I asked her how she believed a person is saved, "There are two things I don't talk about at work because there is such a wide variety of views here, and I don't want to fight, and that is politics and religion." What I decided to do was share the gospel with her anyways in a gentle way. I said, "It's good that you want to keep the peace, but there's nothing more important than your eternal salvation. I just wanted to make sure you knew that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and salvation is only through faith in Him."
Zeal Without Knowledge
I have learned that many people who go to church have never heard the true gospel, and they may have even been taught lies! Many people are very devoted to "god", but their god is not the God of the Bible. Even Islam claims that Jesus was a prophet, but they have created a different Jesus. The Church of Christ believes that Jesus is the way to salvation, but that He saves through baptism of water and His death on the cross. (Which, by the way, is contrary to Scripture. Water baptism has no saving power.) Jehovah's Witnesses do not worship Jehovah, but the god of a man-made religion. There are many religions that include "Jesus", but he is not the Jesus of Scripture. There are even many religions that use parts of Scripture, but do not embrace all of Scripture, such as Mormonism and Catholicism.
"Brethren, my heart’s desire and my prayer to God for them is for their salvation. For I testify about them that they have a zeal for God, but not in accordance with knowledge. For not knowing about God’s righteousness and seeking to establish their own, they did not subject themselves to the righteousness of God." Romans 10:1-3.
Yes, people who go to Church meetings need the gospel too!
What if They Already Know?
Sometimes people can give you the right answer, without really understanding what they are saying. One girl told me that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and that is how we are saved. I replied, "Yes! You're right, but just because Jesus died does not mean everyone is saved. The Bible says that even the demons believe, so how is His righteousness applied to us?" She said, "Well, no one's ever really asked me that before. You just believe in Him, but you have to do good stuff too." Then I was able to say, "Well, the book of Ephesians says, 'For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves. It is the gift of God, not as a result of works so that no one may boast.' We are saved by trusting in Christ for our righteousness. God gives us a new heart, and we are able to obey Him." She then said, "Yeah, I believe what you believe, but I just didn't know how to say it."
At the beginning of our conversation, I was concerned that she might believe you have to earn part of your salvation. It turned out that she already believed and understood the gospel, but neither of us lost anything! Afterwards I shook her hand and greeted her as a sister in Christ. It is our job to share the gospel, and we have no idea who needs to hear it, so we should share it every chance we get! That means we will run into people who are already saved, but we will also share it with people who are lost.
What if They Say No?
My reason for asking people if they go to church is to bring up their beliefs. I find it more natural than starting with, "What do you think happens when you die?" There are many ways to do it though; that is just my style. If they don't go to church anywhere, you can still find out what they believe because you are already on the topic! There are many questions you could ask as a springboard into the gospel, such as, "Who do you think Jesus was? What do you think happens when you die? Do you consider yourself to be a good person?"
Granted Ministries has a great tract by Charles Leiter entitled "Good Teacher or God Incarnate?" that is full of scriptures about who Christ said He was. When you are talking to someone about who they think Christ was, you can tell them who He said He was and then share the gospel. This tract does not present the gospel but I think it is a great tool for witnessing!
Is it Our Business?
Is it really our business to talk about what others beliefs are? Is it rude to ask others about the state of their soul? Yes, it is our business. And no, it is not rude. It is the loving thing to do! As Christians, our business is to be about God's business! Christ said, "Go therefore and make disciples of every nation, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit." Matthew 28:19. We should not be ashamed of the gospel! Romans 1:16 says, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes." We can have confidence that when we share the Gospel, God will save whom He wills!
Plan Ahead!
There are many ways to turn a conversation to important things. The key is to plan ahead. If you do not have a plan, your conversations will just happen how they happen. Come up with your own ways to bring up a person's beliefs, and then purpose in your heart to steer your conversations to what matters most.
Always be sure to pray first that God will give you boldness and help you know what to say. Remember, you cannot fail if you are being faithful. Just do your best, and God can take your "loaves and fishes" and multiply them! You do not have to defend God or the Scriptures! They can stand alone! Just proclaim God's Word!
Conversations With Believers
The most important thing is a person's salvation! If I have never met someone before, I like to talk with them about their soul because I may never get another chance to share it with them again. But what about friends who you know are Christians? It is easy to talk about small things with them as well, but as believers we have much better things to talk about! You can ask them what God's been teaching them lately or ask how you could pray for them. You could share things God's been showing you or exhort them in areas they are growing in.
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| You can talk about the good books you have been reading! |
You can discuss theology or important issues. You can "spur one another on to good works." You can talk about history and many other things! Just seek to talk about things that matter!
This begs the question, "What really does matter?" Maybe that would be a good thing for you to study in Scripture, pray about, and even bring up in your conversations.
Keep Small Talk Small!
Let us seek to use our tongues for the glory of God, the edification of the saints, and the spreading of the gospel! Let us discuss the things that truly matter in life and, as Ephesians says, "make the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." Let us keep small talk, well, small!
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